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Sunday, March 16, 2014

The ‘Me’ God Wants Me to Be

Last year Narara Valley Baptist Church developed a 5 week devotional journal.  When asked to consider writing something this year when they started putting another one together, I was thrilled!  NVBC has supported ZOE generously and it was a privilege to be asked to write something for their journal. I really hope it encourages the community at NVBC as well as those of you reading it here.

I often feel like the ‘me’ I want to be doesn’t match up with the ‘me’ I actually am. The ‘me’ I want to be has a month of meals pre-planned, an empty ironing basket, biscuits baking in the oven, a husband who knows how much he's adored, updated family photos framed, waxed legs, children who never argue, friends who feel appreciated, kind words flowing from my mouth, a house that looks like something from a ‘Pinterest’ page, emails replied to … 
You get the picture!
The woman who glanced in the mirror last week, as she rushed out to work reflected: mascara forgotten, hair needing a wash, outfit not thoroughly thought through, hairy legs, tired eyes, grumpy words and a look of disappointment... disappointment at the 'me' I so desperately want to be but continually seem to fall short of.
I catch myself asking, is it even possible to be the loving wife, the mum, the teacher, the friend, the daughter, the sister and the missionary that I strive to be?
These questions lead me to remind myself that it's not about ‘me’. My mission is not about trying to ‘be’ something or someone that I can never really live up to. When it all boils down, when I reflect on what my Heavenly Father has done for me, all I want is to be the ‘me’ God wants me to be.
All through the Gospels I read passages where Jesus is quoted saying, “Follow me.” When I think about it though, to be a “follower” of Jesus means I actually have to follow, or copy, what Jesus did. It sounds so easy, right? Oh, but how hard it can often be! I love how simply John 13: 34-35 lays it out, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
One of my favourite quotes from Mother Teresa is “If you can't do great things, do little things with great love. If you can't do them with great love, do them with a little love. If you can't do them with a little love, do them anyway. Love grows when people serve.”
I personally think that Jesus was the best example of what a loving, servant heart is meant to look like. And that God is the perfect example of what our character should reflect because of the love, mercy, grace, and justice He first showed us.

The ‘me’ I want to be can no longer be measured on how well-groomed or well-organised I am, how ‘perfectly’ I try to present myself in terms of my domestic abilities or my feeble attempts to appear like I have-it-all-together.
When I draw near to God, and let Him fill my heart with His perfect love. When I love and serve as Christ did, is to be the ‘me’ God wants.

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