Okay, I admit it... I love it when things go perfectly. Whether it be a cake I’m baking, an event I’m
helping to plan, even a family holiday.
Many of you know that I have struggled with speaking in Thai
but did you know that I also struggle speaking in English too… okay, so maybe
just in front of large crowds!!
It’s all because I want it to sound perfect and if I think
it’s not going to be then fear kicks in. Erg!
So anyway, last week, we had the opportunity to take a
much-needed getaway with just us five. I was super-excited to have planned the
PERFECT trip away.
We have lived in the ZOE Transitional Home for exactly 12
months now. It’s been a rollercoaster
ride of emotions and craziness. It has stretched us in ways that we didn’t
realize we could be stretched and challenged us tremendously. My heart has broken, once again, for the
precious children that ZOE rescues.
It cries out for the healing transformation that brings life back to hearts that ache to feel
loved and accepted, and longs for moments when they get to know who they are
and to accept that they’re precious and worthy.
~
Well, our holiday location was perfect. All the “bits”
that I was able to control and organise worked out really well.
But despite the “perfect” setting, and many wonderful bonding
moments and laughter… our beautiful holiday also included an ugly side of bouts
of diarrhea, sunstroke, vomiting, an ear infection and five people who all desperately
needed time and space to unwind, process and relax in their own individual
ways!!
You get the picture…
As the holiday drew to a close, we decided to take one last leisurely
stroll along the beach at sunset. A few
nights prior, I had found a really nice, big shell that some other people
passing by had even stopped to comment on.
So, on this final night, I had just one more opportunity to
scout the beach while the tide was out and I was determined to find another
“perfect” shell for my collection.
Tobi and I were walking together, eyes both scouring the
sand when we began to chat about various things. “Isn’t it amazing?” I said, “How we all have
such different taste about what beauty is?
Like I might pick up this shell and think it is so pretty, but you might
be thinking it’s average and then you see a shell that you really like, and I might
not think it’s very special at all.” He agreed.
Moments later, he produced a shell for me, “Is this what
you’re looking for Mum? You can have it.”
“Aww thanks” I replied, at first glance it looked good but then
I noticed something and my perfectionist side dominated, “but actually I won’t
keep this one. See, it’s broken.”
His next words left me speechless.
“Yes Mum it is, but even broken shells are beautiful.”
His words stuck in my mind and began playing over and
over. He was so right.
Later that night after finishing a movie we’d starting
watching the day before, Dave and I were just about to give the instruction for
the kids to head off to bed, when Eliana spoke up suggesting we have a time of
prayer as a family, thanking God for this wonderful time away we’d had
together. We all agreed, it was a great
idea. I love hearing my children pray.
It gives me such insight into their hearts and minds.
After we’d prayed she suggested that we also have a time of
encouragement for one another- isn’t it awesome when you see your children take
the lead on the things that you, as the parent, usually instigate?
Towards the end of the time of encouragement, I decided to
share the conversation that Tobi and I had had on the beach earlier. I spoke about how it had reminded me that we
are all imperfect.
We are all broken in some way and we each have so many
things that God is working through in our lives, but that indeed we are still
beautiful to Him. And with the realisation
that that is how God sees us, and other people, we are able to try to see
others in the same way - broken yet
beautiful!
After we’d talked about this, Eliana came to whisper
closely. “At the start of the week, I used to only collect the perfect shells
too, Mum” she said quietly, “But then Tobi explained to me how when a shell is
broken, you can see right inside the shell, which you can’t normally see. He
said that some shells aren’t that nice to look at on the outside but on the
inside they’re beautiful.”
Our holiday ended faster than I would’ve liked (why is
that?) and it was time to trade wading through warm salty water, for the long
list of emails that awaited me. As I
skim read, one email jumped off the screen, “Would I share at a meeting on
Tuesday about the Transitional Home?”
Despite the fact that this request made me feel physically
sick and, after I'd read it, my heart started racing faster than a Japanese
bullet train, I must remember that I
may not ever be a perfect public speaker but what I can share is what God is doing beautifully
in, and through, this transitional home… the progress in the lives of the young
adults who come in and out… and what God is doing in my own family too. It can be messy at times to strip away masks
and expose inner fears but through God’s grace and love we can experience hope,
healing, authenticity and love.
Please know this week, there is beauty in your brokenness!!