From Overwhelmed to Overwhelmed.

Oh wow… it’s been so long since I wrote. Where to start?

So I guess nearly two years ago when we put our hands up to help start the transitional home for the older teens at the children’s home, reaching 18 and wishing to work or go to university, we had no idea how what that looked like or how long we’d do it for.

Over the past two years, we’ve had ten young people live at the house (at different times) with our family. The length of their stays has differed according to their needs. Out of the ten young adults, seven of them are still actively involved in the transition program. By this I mean they still live here, stay over or come and use the house throughout the week and are a part of our mentoring program, weekly catch-ups and celebrations.

We have another 5-6 young people, who currently live at ZOE, and are in the preparation stage, getting ready to move here sometime over the next 4 months.

Just recently, we had started exploring the idea of our family moving out of the transitional home and finding a house close by where we can still be involved (Dave will still oversee the program) but we will have some more space and at the same time create space for the young people who will be moving here soon.

In the past, moving hasn’t fazed me but honestly we all love living here and deep down none of us want to move but on the other hand, we all know it’s one of those hard-but-right decisions for everyone. Thankfully we were able to find a house very quickly and as I write this, we have begun the process of packing and clearing out and trying not to take too much with us to this next, much smaller, house.

Over the past two years Dave and I have loved seeing our own children grow and change. We have had the pleasure of watching them interact and grow to love their ‘big ZOE brothers and sisters’ and it will be sad to end this season living at the house. I am very excited for the next season of the transitional program though. After our family moves from the upstairs section of the house, there are another five or six girls and 1 guy coming to live at the house plus one missionary. The two wonderful Thai staff, who work at the house, will also stay over 1-2 times per week.

Please pray for the transition of our family moving out and the other missionary moving in, also for the young people finishing school this year and preparing to move into the house in the next few months.

~

School life: This is the second year that I have been involved in our school’s Parent/Teacher Group Leadership Team as well as the weekly prayer meetings and helping out where I can with athletics/swimming etc.

Top left: PTG, Top and bottom right: Friends from Australia,
Bottom left: Sweet friends  

This year has been a huge change as our Tobi started Grade 6 (Middle School).

This has meant lots more homework, staying up later, receiving a laptop from school and trying to cope with two parents who feel slightly extremely unprepared!

Life has a way of simply carrying on though whether we’re ready or not!

So far this year we have enjoyed supporting Eliana in her swimming endeavors. She brought home two medals at the International Schools Swim Meet. A bronze medal for a freestyle relay and a silver one for the 25m breast stroke. We were so proud of her efforts training both after school and on the weekends.

We also got to see both Eliana and Tobi try basketball for the first time this year. They both caught on quickly and even though the season is finished now, they still enjoy going to their school on a Saturday night and watching Dave play a pickup game in the men’s comp and shooting around in the breaks. Watch out for Spencer though, this boy can shoot and, at the rate he’s growing, we think next year when he can play U10s he’s going to be a force to be reckoned with! The current season has just started with both soccer (or football as everyone else calls it) and Track and Field. I am excited to see how each of the kids has improved since last year and I am resting my voice in preparation for some serious cheering at their games and meets!

In September this year, Tobi had his 11th birthday, a Marvel party, at a local rollerblading rink. Spencer’s party was postponed due to our family being sick for a few weeks with flu. When we eventually celebrated his 8th birthday, it was at home, ninja style, with a few close friends. Eliana is still deciding what to for her birthday in a little over a week’s time. She is determined to do something adventurous to mark being double figures… we’re just not sure what that will be yet!

In September this year we welcomed a new member into the Cross family- a little Shiranian (Pomeranian-Shih Tzu) puppy named Latte! He is super cute and super cheeky and loved by everyone at the house… I think he’ll be the most missed by the big kids when we move out but we’ll bring him around for lots of visits!

Latte's first visit to the vet.

In amongst the sickness, the moving, the busyness of Thanksgiving, Christmas, ZOE and school events it has been easy to look at my planner packed with events and an arm’s length to-do list and give in to some big… overwhelming… feelings!! During my quiet worship times though I have tried to mediate on the words of one of my favourite songs right now. It continues to give me the perspective that I need not be overwhelmed by my circumstances but instead with Him my creator and my God. The pressures, deadlines, meetings, events, appointments and strains in a busy season seem to fade in comparison to how amazing and wonderful He is.

If you don’t know the song, I’ll post the words below and if you don’t know this wonderful Creator and God who I speak about … then I challenge you to try Him out, talk to Him and see what happens. He is never far away. He made you and He already knows you!

"Overwhelmed"

I see the work of Your Hands

Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God

All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice

All at once it's a gentle and thundering noise oh God

All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You

Captivated by Your beauty

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross

Forgiven and free forever You'll be my God

All that You've done is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You

In the Glory of Your Presence

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

You are Beautiful, You are Beautiful

Oh God, there is no one more Beautiful

You are Beautiful, God you are the most Beautiful

You are Wonderful, You are Wonderful

Oh God, there is no one more Wonderful

You are Wonderful, God You are the most Wonderful

You are Glorious, You are Glorious

Oh God, there is no one more Glorious

You are Glorious, God you are the most Glorious

I delight myself in you

In the Glory of your Presence

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by you

And God, I run into your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by you

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by you

There is no one more beautiful

God, you are the most beautiful

(Big Daddy Weave)

What's the Plan?

I'm not sure if you have someone in your family that continuously asks the question, "What's the plan?"  But I must admit, I like knowing what the plan is too!!

The other day, I was getting nervous and trying not to stress-out about it, but misplacing my diary (planner) felt like half my brain had just been wiped. Thankfully, after turning a few rooms upside down, and praying about it (ashamedly, in that order) the diary appeared tucked under a basketful of sewing things! Sigh.

Well now that it's back, I am looking at the calendar with disbelief... there's only 37 days till we're back on Australian soil!! What? How? Okay, that means I have a lot of planning still to do in a very small amount of time. But apart from all that, we are all very excited.  Our children haven't been back since September 2014 so they are SUPER excited!

In the mean time, I thought that I’d share with you a bit about what we’ve been up to lately.

Back in April, we enjoyed having David’s sister, our brother-in-law and our 2 nephews visit us. Especially for the week when our three kids were on school holidays, it was such a joy to have “cousin” time. There was a lot of laughter and fun that occurred and we made some great memories.

Also in April we had some of the children from ZOE come for a play-date as it was also their school break. We had fun Zentangling, making creations out of Paddle pop (popsicle) sticks as well as playing Lego.

The rest of the break included water, water and more water. The Thai New Year, also known as Songkran is a three-day celebration/ water fight.  As some of you may know, Thailand has had a big heat wave this past month so three days of throwing water and being wet is a welcome relief from the scorching heat. 

After Songkran, our kids went back to finish their final quarter/ term for the year feeling kind-of exhausted after so much fun. School finishes in June for them so they’re very much on the home stretch now.

I have been working on a project called “Family Baskets”. It’s a fairly new initiative to bring a basket of new ideas to the parents at ZOE every three months. It’s a way of encouraging family bonding, good memories and strengthen the family units.  It empowers the parents with new ideas and activities to try.  I try to provide activities based around these three areas:

1. Some sort of family bonding task or challenge or goal to work on.
2. Some type of craft/ something to learn/do e.g. make something/music related/arty/ fun etc
3. Something relaxing/stress relieving/ fun or a new game/activity.  

I love trying to fit within the budget and think of new and exciting things to do.

Dave and I are also working towards a big event this Saturday night where we are organising a project for ZFA. I am really looking forward to being able to share all about this soon… keep a look out! This is going to be COOL!

Aside from all that, there’s been LOTS happening here in the Transitional Home aka The Nest.

We are learning to keep handing the big and little issues over to God whilst continuing to love and reach out to these precious young people.

I shared with friends this week how I have struggled personally these past couple of months, often times feeling very disheartened. Praise God though as I have felt the fog lift. Whilst we feel like so much of this is unchartered waters and we don’t know what the next week looks like or how things will pan out; with our trust in God, we do not need to be afraid or discouraged. We need only to keep our eyes focused on Him. God is so good. He is faithful time and time again.
Within our little family, I am really enjoying watching our three as they grow and change. I really want to freeze them at their current ages but I am also excited to see each new step they take in becoming ‘themselves’; their beautiful, unique selves!  I love seeing them try new things and find the areas that they love to participate in.

Other than that, I have really valued the opportunity to be a part of the leadership team for the PTG (parent-teacher-group) at our children's school this year. I gained a lot of insight into the school and the annual events etc. I met some lovely people too and I will continue on being a part of this group in future.

Here are some pictures from the past month or so:

One of the young adults at The Nest bought 2 rabbits home the other day. Needless to say, there is always someone around to cuddle them!

ANZAC Day Dawn Service.

A particularly smokey day...

April in Thailand is typically hot and sweaty, but this year's scorching weather has set a record for the longest heat wave in at least 65 years. The average peak temperature each day this month has been above 40 degrees celsius.

Growing up so fast: healthy and strong.

Not Perfect, Still Beautiful

Okay, I admit it... I love it when things go perfectly.  Whether it be a cake I’m baking, an event I’m helping to plan, even a family holiday.

Many of you know that I have struggled with speaking in Thai but did you know that I also struggle speaking in English too… okay, so maybe just in front of large crowds!! 

It’s all because I want it to sound perfect and if I think it’s not going to be then fear kicks in. Erg!

So anyway, last week, we had the opportunity to take a much-needed getaway with just us five. I was super-excited to have planned the PERFECT trip away.

 The plan was to have no plan.  Just stay at the beach and relax and hang out together. We were all looking forward to some serious “Crossie” time together.

We have lived in the ZOE Transitional Home for exactly 12 months now.  It’s been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and craziness. It has stretched us in ways that we didn’t realize we could be stretched and challenged us tremendously.  My heart has broken, once again, for the precious children that ZOE rescues.

It cries out for the healing transformation that brings life back to hearts that ache to feel loved and accepted, and longs for moments when they get to know who they are and to accept that they’re precious and worthy.

~

Well, our holiday location was perfect.  All the “bits” that I was able to control and organise worked out really well.

But despite the “perfect” setting, and many wonderful bonding moments and laughter… our beautiful holiday also included an ugly side of bouts of diarrhea, sunstroke, vomiting, an ear infection and five people who all desperately needed time and space to unwind, process and relax in their own individual ways!!

You get the picture…

As the holiday drew to a close, we decided to take one last leisurely stroll along the beach at sunset.  A few nights prior, I had found a really nice, big shell that some other people passing by had even stopped to comment on.

So, on this final night, I had just one more opportunity to scout the beach while the tide was out and I was determined to find another “perfect” shell for my collection.

Tobi and I were walking together, eyes both scouring the sand when we began to chat about various things.  “Isn’t it amazing?” I said, “How we all have such different taste about what beauty is?  Like I might pick up this shell and think it is so pretty, but you might be thinking it’s average and then you see a shell that you really like, and I might not think it’s very special at all.” He agreed.

Moments later, he produced a shell for me, “Is this what you’re looking for Mum? You can have it.”

“Aww thanks” I replied, at first glance it looked good but then I noticed something and my perfectionist side dominated, “but actually I won’t keep this one. See, it’s broken.”

His next words left me speechless.

“Yes Mum it is, but even broken shells are beautiful.”

His words stuck in my mind and began playing over and over.  He was so right.

Later that night after finishing a movie we’d starting watching the day before, Dave and I were just about to give the instruction for the kids to head off to bed, when Eliana spoke up suggesting we have a time of prayer as a family, thanking God for this wonderful time away we’d had together.  We all agreed, it was a great idea.  I love hearing my children pray. It gives me such insight into their hearts and minds.

After we’d prayed she suggested that we also have a time of encouragement for one another- isn’t it awesome when you see your children take the lead on the things that you, as the parent, usually instigate?

Towards the end of the time of encouragement, I decided to share the conversation that Tobi and I had had on the beach earlier.  I spoke about how it had reminded me that we are all imperfect.

We are all broken in some way and we each have so many things that God is working through in our lives, but that indeed we are still beautiful to Him.  And with the realisation that that is how God sees us, and other people, we are able to try to see others in the same way - broken yet beautiful!

After we’d talked about this, Eliana came to whisper closely. “At the start of the week, I used to only collect the perfect shells too, Mum” she said quietly, “But then Tobi explained to me how when a shell is broken, you can see right inside the shell, which you can’t normally see. He said that some shells aren’t that nice to look at on the outside but on the inside they’re beautiful.”

Our holiday ended faster than I would’ve liked (why is that?) and it was time to trade wading through warm salty water, for the long list of emails that awaited me.  As I skim read, one email jumped off the screen, “Would I share at a meeting on Tuesday about the Transitional Home?”

Despite the fact that this request made me feel physically sick and, after I'd read it, my heart started racing faster than a Japanese bullet train, I must remember that I may not ever be a perfect public speaker but what I can share is what God is doing beautifully in, and through, this transitional home… the progress in the lives of the young adults who come in and out… and what God is doing in my own family too.  It can be messy at times to strip away masks and expose inner fears but through God’s grace and love we can experience hope, healing, authenticity and love. 

Please know this week, there is beauty in your brokenness!!

Update

It's been soooo long since I've given a "family" update. I actually had to go to my phone and look through my photos to see what's been happening these past few months.  

Here is a brief update:

(May-June) In the last term of the school year, I had been helping out at my children's school as the Grade 2 teacher had left. On the second last day of the school year, I received a phone call from my sister telling me that my precious grandmother had passed away. I was devastated. Each year when we visited Australia, I would always hope that it wouldn't be the last time that we'd have here together on earth. I will always hold such fond memories of our last trip to her house on October 17th 2014.

I was so thankful to have been able to fly back for my grandma's funeral. It was a quick trip but the time that I was able to spend with both my mum and dad as well as extended family was just so precious to me. 

All my cousins together.

(July) Our children very much enjoyed their "summer" break (winter months in Australia) as did I.  It was so nice to have the time to go exploring by foot around the city, have movie nights, go swimming and just catch up on some serious "play time".  Uno games were a daily occurrence as was playing with Lego.

Probably the highlight for all the children though was attending an Art class run by a friend each Wednesday of the holidays.  They loved the opportunity to learn new skills each week (and catch up with their friends).

  

(August) And then... literally as school was about to begin for the year, we suddenly found ourselves faced with a dilemma.  We had to make one of the hardest decisions as parents, which was to move our three kids from the small Australian school that we all loved so much.  We knew, going forward though that this was a move that we needed to make with their futures in mind especially for Tobi who heads into middle school (Grade 6-8) next year.  And so the past month or so has been very much about getting them settled into this new, bigger, totally different education system.  I am happy to report though that after a few bumps in the early days, they are all very happy and enjoying school. 
And me? Well I couldn't help myself. I had to join the PTG as well as a few other parent groups.  It's nice to know that I can still be involved in some way. Below is me introducing myself at the first PTG meeting!

And the most important and anticipated time of the day... after school!  There is an amazing array of food stalls right outside the school gate each day begging to be visited.  Most days it's sticky rice, pork skewers, dim sum, waffles or a fried chicken snack but for a special treat this day, we got a choc-banana roti. YUM! 

After school snacks!

We continue to enjoy the challenges of our new role in helping kids transition into adulthood and we are praying that we can find a Thai person who will work alongside us in this role.

Until then, we'll keep pushing ahead as best we can, using every Thai word we know and trying to communicate and articulate as best as possible with the young adults around us.

Looking at the time lag from my last family update, I can see why! It has actually been a very full 6 months.