tur·bu·lence

You know, sometimes there are stories that can only be shared after a certain period of time has elapsed and some healing has occurred.

This is one of them!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. It looks like we've hit some unexpected turbulence and I'm going to turn on the seatbelt sign. The seat belt sign is now on. Please remain seated until the seatbelt sign goes off. Thank you.”

As someone who has struggled with motion sickness her-whole-life, these types of announcements make me instantly break out in a cold sweat.

On our last day in Australia, I had intentionally reduced my caffeine intake, sipped water all day, eaten healthy food, taken my travel sickness medication and of course prayed, but then as the plane made its way into the air… the dreaded “turbulence” announcement rang through the cabin loud and clear. 

I decided to avoid the food they were bringing around for dinner but even still, the combination of the food smells and onset of unsteady movement in the plane was enough to set me off on a path of a VERY-MISERABLE-JOURNEY back home to Thailand. 

After about 5 hours of continuous vomiting, I staggered unsteadily off the first flight, spare sick bags tucked into my pockets. It was as we departed the plane though that the unexpected occurred, our youngest shrieked a panicked cry; he too was feeling sick. We grabbed a spare bag and not losing pace with the rest of the passengers departing the flight, we held it for him as we all kept walking and he lost the contents of his last meal. Poor guy. 

At the airport in-between flights, all I could do was to be still.  I was weak and every part of my body ached.  Finding a spot on the floor, I lay down, exhausted and drifted in and out of a state of dehydrated, distressed sleep. 

Waiting till the last minute, my family gently guided me to the next flight but I already had a terrible feeling that this one was not going to be much different to the last.  But I was wrong… IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE! Not only was I sick for the whole flight but so were TWO of my children!  Poor Dave! He lost count of how many times he had to go and ask for more bags. 

Just when we thought we would be stuck in the air feeling nauseated forever, we finally touched down and stumbled weakly off the plane. Lacking strength and energy we tried to focus on the fact that we were almost home.

Making our way through immigration and baggage, we exited the airport and found a songthaew to take us the twenty-minute or so ride home.  Through the winding streets and familiar city sites, we all stared unemotionally out the back of the truck until we were eventually dropped out the front our house. 

As we unlocked the front gate and started to haul the suitcases to the door one-by-one, there it was…. the final, depressing, reminder of what had been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Our youngest threw up all over the front door step. Yep. We’d made it home!

But, as you know, “turbulence” doesn’t just strike on planes though either.  

This season has definitely seen some turbulent times for our family. Unsteadiness, uncertainty and a bumpy ride have jolted and stretched us in ways that we have not experienced before. 

And there have been days when the words “BE STILL” in the command “Be still and know that I am God” have gripped me in the same way like at the airport that day when I literally had to be still.  

That day, I needed to be ‘physically’ still, to block out all the other noises and movement and activity around me. But sometimes the noises and the distractions around us are people’s comments, the enemy’s lies, or our own insecurities or unmet expectations.  Sometimes the movement and the activities are distractions like a lack of boundaries or over commitment or not letting go.  In the end, it’s all the same.  We must eventually be still.

Being still is a bit like saying, I will not pay attention to the storm going on around me but I will trust in you God.  

Being still cannot be done in front of a computer screen, on our phone or in the crowded places of our lives. 

If we will not be still voluntarily, then sometimes it will take a big shaky dose of turbulence to get our attention and have us crawling into a still, small, quiet place alone to understand and know, “HE is God”.  Not us. 

We are doing a six-week study at church and in our small groups right now called ‘God’s Grand Story’.  After finishing our chapters on Moses and the Israelites, I was telling a friend about my journaling the other day. 

I had written, “I hope that through our family’s wilderness experiences that we really truly learn the lessons that God would have us learn in the desert. That we would not miss the ‘Promised Land’ of what God has for us next and that we would grow in our trust and obedience to Him”.  

I love the lyrics in Lauren Daigle’s song “Trust In You”.  How challenging to think that no matter whether God answers our prayers in the way we want him to or not, that we would fully trust in Him. 

Let’s find time this week to BE STILL in the turbulence.

Trust In You (Lauren Daigle) 

Letting go of every single dream

I lay each one down at Your feet

Every moment of my wandering

Never changes what You see

I try to win this war

I confess, my hands are weary, I need Your rest

Mighty warrior, king of the fight

No matter what I face You're by my side

When You don't move the mountains

I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters

I wish I could walk through

When You don't give the answers

As I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings

There's not a day ahead You have not seen

So let all things be my life and breath

I want what You want Lord and nothing less

Outstretched Hands

As I was reflecting about this past season, the picture that came to my mind was one of outstretched hands.

So much of what is precious to me, I naturally tend to hold tight, gripping on with a firmly clasped hands, attempting to control and protect.

These last few months have been a reminder that nothing is mine to hold that tightly. It is only with open hands, trusting in God and seeking His best plan, that I can truly begin to experience freedom in my life.  

As I agree to open up my hands and let go, I begin to see how much more amazing God is at looking after these precious areas of my life. Yes! Who’d have known? He’s much better at it than me! 

I’ll be honest, there have been some rough spots these past months where I have felt totally unsure of what to do and what direction to take. 

It has been during these times that I have had to consciously stop myself from curling up the fingers that so desperately try to control and the hands that want to grip tight and cradle closely whatever it is in there at that time. 

And let me tell you, these past few months, there have been many things in there!

Throughout this season I feel like God has, once again, asked me to release my cares, my family, my friendships, my plans, my reputation, my insecurities and my hopes to Him.

When I am able to do this, I can truthfully say that He does not let me down.  He has never failed me.

When I have been able to release something to Him, being deliberate to flatten my palm and outstretch my arm to Him, He has always come through.  Maybe it hasn’t been how I’d thought He would. Maybe it hasn’t been in my timing.  Maybe it wasn’t even the way I would’ve liked but I know, and trust, that ultimately He knows best.

I was smiling to myself and praising God the other day while doing my ironing. An issue with a friendship that I had needed to surrender and hold loosely in order to let God come and in and work had now, suddenly, turned itself around. What I had been so unsure about, I had quietly opened up to God to work out.  It was several months later that I felt close to this person once again realising that indeed, God had gone before me and protected that friendship.  Had I taken the route of holding on too tight or speaking out of line in defence, I know that it could’ve been a very different story.

Sometimes these situations are so hard to just keep an outstretched hand in but, in my experience, it’s totally worth the wait.  Often we don’t know what is going on “behind the scenes”.  

Be encouraged that situations can and do change… even miraculously at times!

My hope for you, who are reading this, is that this week, whatever it is that you hold too tightly to, that you will also feel the freedom in letting go.  

Home Again

People say funny things. 

I wish I’d written down some of the interesting comments that random strangers made during our visit to Australia when they found out that we lived in Thailand.  

A classic last week was a shop assistant who exclaimed, “Wow!  That’s like you’ve been on holidays for almost 5 years!”

Hmmm. No. 

No, it's not. 

But I let that one go!!

It is a privilege to love and know people in more than one place… I don’t quite know how to put the past month or so into words. Seriously. I’m speechless.

God is so faithful.

He has once again shown me His amazing love and care though the tiniest of details, and through the incredible generosity of those who keep opening their hands to offer all that they are, and have, to be used by Him.

It all started before we left.

My visa had taken a long time to process and after 12 months of “extensions”, which all cost the same amount of money as the visa itself, I was starting to stress out as to whether it would even get processed at all. 

Eventually around the time we booked our tickets back to Australia, I was told that the visa appointment would be the coming Friday.  But by the time Thursday afternoon came, I was phoned and told that the letter needed for my visa had not arrived from Bangkok and I would (hopefully) be able to go to the immigration office on Monday instead. 

Then it suddenly occurred to me that after all these visa delays, the date of our upcoming trip to Australia was actually going to seriously interfere with the process of trying to get my visa finalised.  You see once you have your visa appointment, the immigration officer stamps your passport for 1 month and then after 1 month, you go back and get the other 11 months added on.  The issue was that in 1 month I would not be in Thailand to get my second stamp and the there was no way that the whole visa would be completed… this was a big problem.

I literally looked to up God and thought, I don’t even see how this can be worked out… to me it seems impossible. 

On the Friday afternoon before the appointment, with still no answer to the problem, I bumped into the pastor of our church. We started chatting and the whole “visa problem” came up in our conversation.  It was then that my ears pricked up, “Oh I’ve just been at a meeting at immigration today” he said. “They’ve just changed the system today and as of Monday, they are introducing a new process called ‘one-stop’.  It’s where they stamp your visa for the full 12 months straight away and you don’t have to go back for that extra stamp anymore.”

What? Had my letter from Bangkok not been delayed and I’d gone to immigration that day, my visa would not have worked out but now just one day before I am to go, they’ve changed the whole process so that when I go it will all work out fine!!!!

God you are AMAZING!! Seriously!! 

This year we’d also hoped to find our own separate accommodation for the majority of our time back.  Whilst we have enjoyed staying with both sets of parents every other year and we have so many fond memories as well as much appreciation for the numerous times they have minded our children when we’ve had meetings and catch-ups at night, we knew that a time would come when our family would simply need more down-time to reenergize (especially for the introverts amongst us).

I had researched a lot of houses online searching through the hundreds of listings of beach units, apartments, family suites, granny flats etc. but everything was just too expensive. I remember saying to God, “If we’re going to do this, I’m going to need to you to find us a place miraculously.”

Well, I had written a blog post mentioning that we were coming back (but not saying anything about accommodation) when, within minutes, a message popped up from a friend offering their house to house-sit while they were away for the school holidays.  I couldn’t believe it! Funnily enough, God obviously knew that our little Eliana (extrovert) and the only one not convinced that we should have our own space, needed the deal sweetened by being able to pet-sit their 2 rabbits and 2 cats while they were gone.  We had one excited girl!

The next answer to prayer came when our friend Aaron asked us if there was anything else he could help us with (he was already doing so much).  Hesitantly we emailed back asking if he knew of any accommodation available for 2 weeks. 

His email {the very next morning} with a place lined up to stay blew me away! And it wasn't just any old place. It was more than we expected or imagined!  

In the week or so leading up to our departure, friends took Eli’s pet rabbits to look after, other friends drove us to the airport, collected mail and washing off the line and upheld us in prayer. 

It’s such a blessing to be a part of God’s family.

Sonia and Colin, once again, so generously let us borrow one of their cars for the entire time we were back.  This was so helpful to us and we really were so appreciative to be able to use it.

During the first few days in Australia, we stayed at my parent’s house.  With the sweet familiarity of being back with them to begin our time here, we were blessed by their warmth and individual love for each one of us.  They amazingly understand all our different needs and some how seem to find the sensitivity to love on us all in only the way they can.

Maria, a lady who lives across from my parent’s home, came around in the few days we were there bringing bunches of bananas, soup, eggs, raisin bread, chocolates and a couple of other bags of fruit and vegetables.  This, along with the many other bits and pieces my mum sent us away with (including the loan of her rice cooker) all made the transition to our “own” place very easy and we set up “camp” thanks to God using others to give so generously.

 Sharing about ZOE at schools.

In our first full week here, we very quickly adjusted to the beautiful Australian landscape, gazing out the back window in awe.  The children loved petting the cats and taking care of the rabbits not to mention jumping on the huge trampoline and having so many exciting toys to play with. 

Our next ‘home’, adjacent to the Cook’s house, became our safe haven.  Here we truly relaxed.  I actually felt teary a number of times as I stared out at the paddocks and watched our children running with sheep, feeding horses, climbing trees and playing soccer.  No amount of searching the Internet could have possibly found a place so perfect.  We enjoyed getting to know the Cooks more through the unplanned conversations in the yard, at the clothesline or over the fence.  Our children were blessed with a new and special friend in Cooper and we will be forever thankful for the kindness and bigheartedness this family showed us.

There are too many individual stories about people’s generosity over the weeks that we were in Australia, but each gesture was so special to us and will not be forgotten.  We enjoyed fish ‘n chips, freezing walks along the beach, toasting marshmallows, celebrating birthdays, fantastic Indian food, a chocolatey feast, barbecue dinners, long chats and much more…. indeed we have some awesome friends and family!!

Dave’s parents also deserve a mention. They once again went above and beyond what we feel we deserved.  We really appreciate their kindness and practical helpfulness and look forward to spending a bit more ‘relaxing’ time together when they visit us in January.

I must say, that whilst it is nice to be home once again, our trip back to Australia was definitely one of my most favorite visits back so far.

Please keep me accountable, I am determined to create space to be more diligent in keeping in touch this year.  Despite having wonderful friends who just let us pick up where we left off, I really feel a strong conviction to be more disciplined in praying for and being connected to all of the beautiful friends we have throughout the upcoming 12 months (as well as updating our blog more frequently!)

Anyway, you know who you are- so thank you from the very bottom of our hearts!

Andie 

...In Its Time

Well this post not only has me writing from a new address and new surroundings but with a fresh sense of expectancy for the year ahead.

Thanks for the cake Laura!

It's true, I celebrated turning 27 {ahem} 37 yesterday. Whaaat?

Okay I admit I feel kind of old saying that.

Since I wrote last, we have moved house from the bustling city which we'd come to love to somewhat more peaceful surroundings of rice fields and, more importantly, good friends.  We are closer to the children's home too which is a massive bonus and we are enjoying discovering all the local spots to eat.

One of the first things I loved about this house when we looked through it was the view of the rice fields out the master bedroom window. It was so completely different to our view in the city. Ahhh… that view instantly took me to a happy place.

So when moving day came and I took a load of small items in the car along with the 2 boys, we couldn’t wait to race upstairs and fling back those curtains and breath in the exhilarating, fresh air… smoke!!!

What? Where were the beautiful rice fields we’d been dreaming about? The boys and I stood there in disbelief.  

It’s funny now, looking back to that moment because actually, that pretty much summed up my feelings of the entire year just been. 

Have you ever had those moments of realising, hang on, I didn’t plan this, this wasn’t how it was meant to be, I wasn’t expecting that!!?

How often in the name of being ‘proactive’ and ‘organised’ do I try to plan and… control, only to be standing there, mouth gaping wide breathing in the smoky air of a burning rice field?

Umm okay, don’t answer that!

Ever had that experience?

Our pastor had been doing a series on ‘seasons’ lately.  It’s really helped me to once again remember that just like the appearance outside my window may completely change and go from beautiful to ugly.  So too in time will it change again.

So, after keeping those curtains shut for the first few weeks here, and not actually spending much of the daytime in my bedroom, I finally had a good day of cleaning and sorting out last week where I flung open those curtains once more and let the sunlight and the fresh air seep in.  I also looked out to the fields again and immediately smiled as I saw the sight I’d longed for a month or so ago, the beauty of the lush green fields before me.  It took my breath away.  Thank you God. 

Well, we’ve heard it all before, seasons come and seasons go but seriously, sometimes when you’re stuck in a challenging season of life, ‘that season’ can seem to be unending.  Life lesson: it will pass.

And so here I sit, 37 years old with a new season stretched out before me, and I’m all giddy like a kid in a lolly shop gripping my pocket money tightly in my hand asking, what should I do first?

I am excited to say that we will be heading back to Australia for a visit in late September-October!! Yay.  That has been unexpected but very cool all the same. So I will be putting that trip together.  Our kids have not experienced Melbourne spring weather since 2009!!  Needless to say, they’re hoping it won’t be as cold as the past few years of winter and I hope so too.

Many of you have asked whether our children’s school found a teacher… no! Not yet!  But we are still praying and believing that one or more will come.  The teachers are doing a great job to cover everything but they are very stretched.  I will be helping out by relief teaching.  I have already done 1 day and I have another 8 lined up over the next few weeks.

And on the days that I am not needed at school, I am able to scoot around town helping to get things that Dave needs for work (although I think I still need to work on my attitude a bit before I could officially be his PA or anything).

I am enjoying baking and exercising and more time to mull over things (like my heart attitudes!!).  It’s all good!

So if you’re currently stuck staring out into the open fields of smoke and ugliness wondering, when is this season ever going to end?  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you! (James 4:8) You are not alone for the Father is with you (John 16:32). And remember, it will pass!

Out of Control (Part 2) And Loving It!

A post about how letting God take control was THE BEST decision EVER!

Well, you may have read my last post entitled, Out of Control where I was sharing about my struggles with trusting the steering wheel of my life wholeheartedly to God and more specifically with the search for a new house.

And I asked you to pray, "for God's wisdom with our decision making over the coming weeks and months... to be trusting in Him and not being lead by our own thoughts".

To get three houses to the stage of actually making appointments to see them (and liking them) was an effort in itself, and when all three of those promising situations ended with three massive big STOP signs, I must admit, it was hard not to let disappointment and wanting to change the outcome myself creep in.

But I didn't.

I took my own advice and just kept trusting that God had something better for our family and that it would be all become clear in His timing and not mine- anyone else ever been there?

And so, I stopped waiting for the phone to ring with agents who had said they'd call and never did, or landlords saying that we could have the house rather than that other people who’d offered more money than us (even though we’d got in first) or that the people who'd quickly rented the house before we could make our decision had just changed their minds... but it just didn't happen that way.

So then last Tuesday I found out about a house (in the area we'd hoped for) that had just come on the rental market.  We went to look at it that night and besides the small yard being a complete mess, it had no kitchen, no curtains and was about half the size of the house we currently live in, I LOVED IT!  

I was even heard saying out loud that I was happy to pay the advertised amount per month (to Dave's distress).  Dave on the other hand was hoping for a cheaper price but the agent assured us that the owner would definitely not negotiate on price because once the house was all fixed up with a kitchen installed, curtains etc that they were going to put the rental price up higher!  

Well, thankfully, Dave agreed that we should still proceed with the necessary steps to renting the house.  And that was when the fun began...

About thirty minutes after saying to the agent that we wanted to move ahead, she called us back and told us that the owner would lower the rental amount and it was the exact amount that Dave and I had privately discussed that we’d “ideally” like to pay!!

The next time we went to look at the house, the owner wanted to meet us there.  Long story cut short, here’s what transpired:

• We found out that the house owners are a lovely couple who live in the street and have two kids, Eli and Tobi’s ages.
• The owners are putting in a gas stove top (no oven though), a new refrigerator and some cupboards.
• The owners also said they’d put hot water in the kitchen (something I have not had for over two and a half years…) This was when I started to feel REALLY SPOILT.
• The owners are also getting the small yard area cleaned up and putting lawn down.  They had some large tree stumps removed and now it’s big enough to put our kid’s swing set there (we’d told our children that we couldn’t take their swings to our new house and they’d been brainstorming who they could give them to).
• The owner was about to order curtains and gave me the fabric samples and told me that I COULD CHOOSE to make sure that I liked them- what?
• The ZOE missionaries offered to come and help us move (this Saturday…) Did I mention that just 11 days after calling up about this house we are moving in?? How quick was that? But then we decided to just get a quote from a removal company incase- just to see how much it would be (we’d been told by many people it was really expensive) and the quote came back really reasonable!
• Then… now get this… someone put the money into our bank account to pay for the moving company!!   How good is God, right?

Now just to finish off this post about our whirlwind of a week.  You might think that I’d be feeling slightly stressed out about packing our house up in 11 days total, however, I am just feeling so remarkably blessed right now.  Seriously, it’s all good.

And the funny thing is that all week Dave and I have been reflecting on just how God’s plans for us are so much better than the plans we make for ourselves.  How He knew all along what we needed and how He wanted to orchestrate these events to show us His amazing love.

And then tonight, Dave’s phone starts ringing and it’s the owner of the first house we'd look at (a house shop we really wanted to rent) … that we thought we had agreed to, until someone else came in and offered more money than us and he decided to rent it to them…

And he tells Dave that the deal with the other person has fallen through and that the house is available again now and asked did we want it.

And we got to see… the comparison between what we would’ve chosen and settled for and God’s wonderful, amazing alternative!

And we both looked at each other just knowing how good it felt being out of control and knowing that the One who knows us better than we know ourselves always has a GREAT plan for us.