Friday, August 17, 2012

Out of Control

I'm sorry, I know I haven't written much since being back.  But in all honesty some times, some days, some weeks... there really doesn't appear to be a lot that seems "news worthy" amongst the ordinary.
Oh, but our kids did begin their new school year this week.
That was exciting.
Tobi began Grade 2, Eliana Grade 1 and Spencer continued back at his preschool program.
Both Tobi and Eli's teachers are at the beginning of their careers, taking my memories back all of about 11 years ago when I first entered the teaching profession.  It's so wonderful to see their fresh ideas and enthusiasm.  I'm really excited for the year ahead.

Some of you may know from our visit to Australia, that we were coming back to begin the process of house hunting... {and that's another whole blog post right there}

People move houses for different reasons: for work, to be closer to family, to live near a particular school, for a view of the sea, to obtain a more peaceful life style or because they outgrew their house.

But one of the reasons that we are looking to move house is because we are comfortable.
We love the house we current rent.  It was a blessing to find it and it is just such a wonderful place to live.  We live opposite Tobi's school.  It has been a safe and enjoyable experience.  No complaints {seriously}.

And strangely, through all of that, there is a part of us that yearns for more of the uncomfortable too.  To rely on God more.  To have to speak more Thai to be understood.  To be able to reach out to neighbors outside of our comfort zone and to take the next step of immersing ourselves more into life here in Thailand.

There's a small part of all this that really excites me because firstly, I kinda like change and secondly, I know from past experiences where we've had to rely heavily upon God being in control (and not our own clever planning or systems) that He totally came through.
But honestly, for the most part, it scares me.  I know my Thai is not that good {yet}.  I know that I haven't probably been very hospitable to my English-speaking neighbors, and I know that relying on God {wholeheartedly} and being totally out of control is not really an easy task.

I read this passage recently about giving God control (like handing over the steering wheel):

I don't have a problem having God in the driver's seat when the road is straight and there are no other cars around, but throw in few curves, a couple sets of traffic lights, and some traffic, and suddenly I am  no longer a silent passenger:
"How come we're stopping here?"
"We should have turned right back there!"
"The freeway is faster."
And sadly, many times I ask God to get out of the drivers seat completely. And since He is the God of free will, He hands me a road map and sends me off to navigate the road He created.

So I drive. I make wrong turns, I get lost, I break the law and sometimes I even cause accidents. Yet I won't let the One that knows the road from start to finish navigate and I won't let the One with the perfect driving record drive.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of making wrong turns. I'm tired of driving through life so stressed out about the road ahead that I can't enjoy the section of road in front of me. Basically, I'm tired of driving, but the solution requires a decision that's not easy. It means I have to turn the wheel over.

To turn over the wheel to someone else all comes down to an issue of trust. God has proven over and over again in both the Bible and my own life, that He can be trusted and that He's far more capable than I of navigating through the roads of this life.

So if you're someone who prays, please ask for God's wisdom with our decision making over the coming weeks and months.  We want to be trusting in Him and not being lead by our own thoughts.
We have no time frame yet either, it could happen tomorrow or months from now, so any prayers for a settledness (especially for the kids) amongst the process of seeking and searching would also be greatly appreciated.

And my hope for you also is that whatever that 'thing' is that you hold so tight, that you be able to hand it Him this week.  To experience being out of control, but seeing how the "One who knows the road from start to finish" comes through for you.


Christine Henderson said...

Another one of your posts which has spoken into my life. Thank you!

Cross Family said...

Ahh Christine, this is such a challenge for me regularly, but especially this past week. I just have to keep focusing on God and trying to keep my hands off the wheel!! It's just so hard to do!!
Thanks for leaving a comment x

Unknown said...

We are really looking forward to meeting your family in early December! I love how you are stepping our of your comfort zone to give even more of yourselves to God's calling.
-Cat Besk

Cross Family said...

Thanks Cat. Yes we're looking forward to meeting you too.