Full & Good

I can tell already that this post is going to be messy... I have so much to share and yet it seems like too much time has passed now to cover it all. Sorry if I jump around!

Life is full. God is good.

Recently I wrote a post over on the ZOE blog called The Gift of a 'Work in Progress'. 

As an Enneagram Type 7 person I like to experience life to the fullest, but I avoid pain. So the idea of entering into chaos and mess is often not natural for me. But God is helping me to enter in more fully and “be” with others in the same way that He is with me. 

As a Type 7, I also get bored easily which is why I like excitement and trying out new things. Sometimes it might mean that I leave things unfinished though as I move onto something new... which is why I started this post a while ago and it was never completed. 

Yes! I'm sure this explains a lot about me :) 

Life is full.

Way back in September I had a quick trip back to Australia for the Geography Teachers' Association of Victoria (GTAV) conference in Melbourne. Sharon and I were representing ZOE handing out and sharing with teachers all about our updated Year 10 curriculum. We passed out 100 USB sticks to different Geography teachers from schools all over the state, and heard many positive comments from teachers who were already using it in their schools.

At ZOE, I work as part of the International Communication Team, which means I collect and share stories about what God is doing. As ZOE grows, our team aims to be able to support our coworkers in Australia, Thailand, USA, Japan and Mexico.  I love this role because it is quite diverse. From developing guidelines, collaborating on projects, to collecting stories, writing creatively etc.  The role entails meeting with local and foreign staff in order to gather information and news to make posts for the international website. I am also working on tasks like the Thailand Quarterly Report, International Annual Report, Australian social media pages etc. amongst other things.

During the times when I'm not at ZOE, I am still attending Thai language classes two mornings a week (slowly.... slowly).  I have also enjoyed serving at our local church a bit more. For the past few months, I was able to help on a committee for the annual women’s retreat here in Chiang Mai. It was a wonderful experience. I have also helped out by writing a couple of devotionals for our church's Christmas Advent devotional, as well as ushering/ serving communion once a month.

God is good.

The women's retreat was a wonderful opportunity to spend more time with seven other women from ZOE who also attended. It was a peaceful weekend with periods of restful meditation, times of learning, many hearty laughs and sweet conversations with friends. It truly was such a joy-filled time and a real blessing.

Our family is growing (upwards). Our eldest son was shorter than me in June and then taller than me in July! And it happened that quickly. Our daughter will be 'officially' a teenager next month and our youngest is becoming more and more independent with each passing day -despite the fact that I keep trying to hang on to 'my baby'. 

11 year old boys making pizza!

These past months for our kids have been full of sports-tryouts, birthday parties, auditions, youth group, games, rehearsals, tournaments, projects, lots of homework, friends over and rich discussions about as much as possible. These times are precious and tiring but oh how proud I am of the people they are becoming. I go to bed late and exhausted but with a full heart of thankfulness for all God is doing in each of their lives. I am blessed.

Really - I have no idea how to parent teenagers. Seriously!! It is the most wonderful and challenging of experiences. But these are very precious times not to be wasted. What a joy and honor to have this job.  I often have this feeling like I'm fumbling around blindfolded and I have to carefully find my way around in the dark.  It's causing me to have to rely on my other senses more. Even when I can't "see" what God is doing, I am learning to tune in and hear His guiding voice more. And I know that His goodness and love surround me. Even when I'm not sure where the path ahead is, I can step out in faith knowing He will lead me as I trust Him.

See! I told you this post would be messy! But hey, life is messy... and marvelous all at once! May we fully enter in. 

"I’m so thankful that God gives us discernment and sensitivity to the needs around us so that at those times when we just want to walk around, go a different way, or avoid the chaos, He helps us to enter in and “be” with others in the same way that He is with us." 

- The Gift of a 'Work in Progress'  

Cross Communication

My friend commented that it had been a long time since I had blogged here. It's true. She's right. But I haven't stopped writing. For work I write and I am also working on a second book which is taking me longer than I'd hoped. But I do apologise for the lack of 'Cross Family' updates.

I know, the title 'Cross Communication' could sound a bit like cross contamination but please don't go away and start washing your hands or sterilising your bench tops, let me assure you there should be no harmful effects caused by reading this post.

I love this picture above - the cactus flower. It depicts the way that prickly and beautiful share the same space. It's that idea that our imperfections... our mess... our rough edges, do not have to inhibit us from a beautiful life. Our family relationships, along with the amazing friendships we've formed over here, despite the prickles and pain are lovely and lasting reminders that indeed prickly and beautiful can coexist.

January: 
The first few months of this year were hard. I'll be honest.
The lowlight was that at the beginning of the year, our daughter slipped and fell down a curb and twisted her leg backwards. She was instantly in a lot of pain and many people came out of shops etc to try to help us as she had landed in a dangerous spot on the corner of a road. I am so grateful that at that time there was not much traffic and for the people who came to try to help us. Thankfully my husband Dave was able to bring the car quickly and pick us up within a few minutes.  After many hours in the ER, the x-rays showed that she had broken her leg and foot in 3 different places.

My reflections of this painful time in my daughter's life and her own personal journal entries will hopefully bring encouragement and comfort to others in future in a time of need (but that's a different post).

The highlight of the month was that we celebrated being in Thailand 9 years! Despite the broken leg, we were determined to acknowledge and commemorate the anniversary so we went out to eat, taking a guest we had in town along with us.
On arrival at the restaurant we bumped into a friend who we work with. Unbeknownst to us as we ate, she went to the front desk and paid for our entire meal, leaving us this note to find at the end. So sweet!!!

February:
6 weeks, after the accident, our daughter had a scheduled check up. We all had a bit of a shock though when the doctor said she still couldn't put any weight on her leg for another 3-4 months at least!!  We were all thinking she'd be able to manage starting to walk with the orthopaedic boot but the recovery process was going much slower than we had imagined. She was pretty shattered by the news but we focused on finding many things to be thankful for.  We were praying for her spirits to remain hopeful for healing and to continue to see God's hand on her situation.
Busy with school and sport. Both our boys played soccer at school this year and they enjoy different activities on the weekend including Drama and basketball.
But the highlight though, this month we celebrated 20 years of marriage! (One of our kids took this photo)

March:
Our daughter had an opportunity to represent her school at the National History Day, South Asia Regional competition, held in Singapore. She received a scholarship from her school which paid all the expenses. Her and I travelled to the competition from March 7-10th.  And yes, I ate a LOT of char kway teow!!!

 

On the other hand, let's just say the boys, who remained home, have never eaten so many nachos or ever been allowed to play quite so much Play Station as they did that weekend!!

The lowlight of March was the pollution which reached hazardous levels. School was cancelled several times. Even the school play Wind in the Willows, which our daughter was in, had to cancel performances and eventually the school decided to end for the April school holidays earlier than intended. We did a lot of staying indoors and wearing masks.

The highlight this month was having my parents arrive at the end of the month to visit us. Although we spent a great deal of the time indoors playing games and enjoying meals together, we did also get out to a couple of natural hot springs, a waterfall, prayer labyrinth, bowling, a movie and they even spoilt the boys one night with an hour at the trampolining park. All in all it was a special time together with lots of time to talk, laugh and share life together - which we never take for granted!

April:

During April the kids were on school holidays for two weeks. We minded our friend's little poodle which is always fun for us all and we had the chance to rest up before the busyness of the final term of school here. I also started back studying Thai after a somewhat-longer-than-expected break. It's been good to get back into it, have a laugh and learn some new vocabulary.

The highlight of April was that our daughter was told that she could begin to walk again. It was slow progress at first but bit by bit she is getting stronger every day. She has started physiotherapy which is helping her to stretch and strengthen the muscles around the broken bones but also to correct some walking style issues that have developed as a result of the ankle still being swollen and sprained from the fall. We praise God though that she is improving and will be able to gain full strength over time.

May:
The children have been busy with assignments due, test taking and learning lines before the end of the month. The older 2 are in a musical which will be performed at a local theatre in a couple of weeks. We can't wait to see the show. They've been rehearsing for many months now. 

Counting down till school's out... only 17 more days I think but we have mixed emotions as we say goodbye to several friends who will be leaving Thailand for good over the next few weeks.

June:
Well it's not June yet... but our family will be back in Australia in mid June and excited to catch up with friends, supporters and of course our families.

For more information about ZOE please go to:

www.gozoe.org.au

https://www.facebook.com/zoeaustralia/

https://gozoe.org/blog/

https://www.instagram.com/zoe_australia/

Off the Beaten Track

We went on a hike last weekend with friends. It's always amusing to see all the different personalities emerge and watch all of our individual ways of handling this kind of adventure, or challenge, as it is for some.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." 

- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Some of us love the wild and unpredictable, the idea of getting lost, the places where there is no path and the challenge of the unmarked journey. Others of us like to know the plan, how long the journey will take, where we can we stop and what snacks there are to eat... You get the picture!

What fascinates me though is how we relate to 'life' in general, does not always correspond to how we approach a hike. Take me, for example. In general, I do like to know the plan. I try to be organised and prepared. I like to be punctual and complete tasks within a set time frame. But on a hike the thought of getting lost excites me, the fact that we don't know which way we're going or what time we'll finish brings out the care-free side of me and it's refreshing to be reminded that there are times when it's okay not to rush... to know... or to have a plan. And sometimes it takes getting off the beaten track to be reminded of that.  

 "Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt." 

- John Muir 

I must say, I really enjoyed the hike. I mean I was so hot and sweaty by the end, sometimes my muscles ached and the long grass against my skin made me itchy. But this road less travelled, was a moment in time to be surrounded by nature and see interesting bugs and creatures in their natural environment (instead of my kitchen for a change). And to be lost... lost in the physical sense of not really knowing which direction we were going but lost in thoughts too. And sometimes that's exactly when everything starts to make more sense and become clearer. It's like we get a new way to see everything.

How often do we make time to wander, to explore and to connect in this different way? I know I don't do it nearly enough but I loved the opportunity to disconnect and clear my mind of the normal, every-day stresses. And I know it's something our family need to do more often.

"Maybe the best moment of your life will be on your next big adventure." 

- Siya Zarrabi

The Buffet of Life

Last Saturday we went out with some of the other missionaries to show them a local restaurant that we really like. This place is definitely not fancy but it serves an especially delicious northern Thai curry called gaaeng hang laeh muu. It’s the sort of dish that we never need a big portion of because the flavours are so intensely deep and rich that one small serve shared between two people provides enough taste to linger in your mouth and remind you of how satisfying it was for the next few hours. We never leave feeling bloated or too full but {I’m not exaggerating} hours later we can still be heard uttering, “That curry was so delicious!”

I appreciate this dish all the more since trying to make it myself a few times. It’s quite an effort with a long list of ingredients combining spices and being slow-cooked for a substantial amount of time, to release a wonderfully subtle combination of all the flavours.  

When made correctly… seriously! There are no words!

This past December, I looked at our calendar with all the upcoming events that our family had either been invited to or were asked to be a part of through work, school, friendships, church and extra curricular activities.  It was a lot.  

Granted, I am an introvert but I really started to feel overwhelmed by it all. The most difficult part was that when I sat down to look at what each thing was {in order to cut a few things out} I was surprised to notice that they were all really ‘good’ things. Not one of the things, in isolation, was a waste of time, unnecessary or seemed unenjoyable, but all of them together… was simply too much. 

I was explaining to a friend how I don’t like to get to the end of a busy week packed with ‘good’ things and not even be able to remember what I did a few days earlier.  After an event I want to ‘savor’ it and make space to ‘digest’ it within our family.  I want to give my heart time to respond and to block out the noises that so often deafen me from hearing what it was I needed to learn through each experience. 

I have come to appreciate the beauty of the Thai culture that really stops and sits to eat together and in contrast I feel saddened by the western ‘drive-through’ influence - where food is consumed on-the-way-to wherever… while rushing to the “next thing”.

Having time to “chew on”, “mull over” and reflectively appreciate the moments in life - just like that curry - has become so much more appealing to me than the all-you-can-eat buffet of an overcrowded life.  The buffet, from a distance, may aesthetically seem more appealing but soon enough you’re left feeling so full, you can’t even remember the first thing you ate. There is nothing wrong with the individual dishes, they’re all delicious, but later the flavours have all mixed into one and the satisfaction that you thought you might have by the end is tainted by the bloated feelings that leave you feeling like you never want to eat again!

For parents, how do we then help to navigate our children through this “buffet” style-of life, guiding them as they grow up with all-you-can-eat opportunities? How do we effectively and deliberately model a reflective and sensitive approach to life? 

I believe that it is something that we must fight to do ourselves first in order to model it to our children.  If I can’t insert “pauses” into my own life that allow me to joyfully experience and reflectively savour the tastes of my day and week, then how can I direct my children faced with every distraction and opportunity laid before them to be able to do the same?  How can I teach my kids that yes, the buffet may all look good, but that does not mean it must all be consumed? 

Recently, I shared that my word for 2018 was “PAUSE”. 

I want to pause in order to remember these days that fly by so quickly.

I need to pause to give my best yes … and a careful no.

I choose to pause to give thanks.

I must pause before I speak in anger, judgment, or criticism.

I will pause to say I’m sorry.

I desire to pause to dwell on God’s goodness and mercy.

In an environment where smorgasbords abound and they all look so appealing, it can be hard for all of us to say no to opportunities, invitations and new ideas.  But when we become too busy {even doing good things} we crowd out our ability to ‘pause’ and hear God’s voice and we miss out on the intensely deep and rich moments in life.

I guess, as the saying goes, sometimes less is more.

Number 8: New Beginnings!

Click on the picture to enlarge

Today we celebrate our eighth anniversary of being here in Thailand. 
Over the years, I have been reflective about our journey and you can check out some of those past posts by clicking on the links below:

8 years ago!

1 Year
2 Years
3 Years
4 Years
5 Years
6 Years
7 Years



The number 'eight' is a special number. It is the number of "New Beginnings!"

There are 7 days in a week but the eighth day is a brand new beginning to a new week of new opportunities and new possibilities! And that's what I am claiming over this year ahead.

We are excited about what God is going to do this year at both ZOE and in our personal lives.

Thank you for supporting us these past eight years and for your continued prayers for our family.

Out With The Old

During the last school break, we designated one day as a family ‘work’ day in the garden. We had an area that needed to be totally stripped of the plantations that had been left to grow wildly-out-of-control there and, due to the fact that we were going to try to replant some of them elsewhere in the garden, we needed to uproot these plants relatively carefully.

It was ‘all hands on deck’ as we dug, pulled, sorted and bagged up the branches and stems that we weren’t keeping and set aside the ones we were.

Slowly the area that was once overgrown looked stark and bare in contrast to just a few hours earlier.

An empty space remained.

Everything that had once crowded and choked the soil was now gone.

There was another area of the yard that previously had nothing growing there. It’s an odd space since not much rain or sun hits the area.  We had decided to move some of our smaller plants that we’d had hanging indoors to this spot and give it a bit more life.

With careful hands we dug evenly spaced holes and prepared the ground for the new life it was about to receive. 

The words that kept coming to mind throughout the day were, ‘out-with-the-old and in-with-the new’.

Painfully, afterwards (my muscles were so sore) as I reflected on that day of gardening, I realised that it was not just physically exhaustion due to the effort required to remove the plants in such hot weather, but it was the mess, the time and the chaos of it all that struck me.

 

And strangely it echoed how life feels right now. 

To make room for new habits, new routines and new thinking, the old must be removed. 

Sometimes the painfulness of the pulling, the clearing and the sorting out is like a complete make-over; a stripping back of what has always been there, growing wildly-out-of-control.  The result after the uprooting, and the clearing-out is a stark, blank canvas… an open space… an empty basket.  It’s a new chance.

Although it’s hard and exhausting work, this ‘stripping away’ creates a chance to start again, to begin afresh.

It creates new opportunities to replant {more} deliberately this time. 

To consider what is best for this space, to make a decision with the benefit of hindsight and determine what should go in and what should not.

In this process there is a critical step in the middle that needs to be done. 

It is not even a step it is a ‘pause.’  It is a pause before the replanting begins that allows time for the preparation of the soil … for it is the condition of the soil that will ultimately affect the growth.

So quickly our lives can get completely overcrowded and out of control. 

How difficult it can be, in the busyness of life, to stop long enough to make a change for it’s in the stopping long enough that the starting to live more purposefully can begin. 

tur·bu·lence

You know, sometimes there are stories that can only be shared after a certain period of time has elapsed and some healing has occurred.

This is one of them!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. It looks like we've hit some unexpected turbulence and I'm going to turn on the seatbelt sign. The seat belt sign is now on. Please remain seated until the seatbelt sign goes off. Thank you.”

As someone who has struggled with motion sickness her-whole-life, these types of announcements make me instantly break out in a cold sweat.

On our last day in Australia, I had intentionally reduced my caffeine intake, sipped water all day, eaten healthy food, taken my travel sickness medication and of course prayed, but then as the plane made its way into the air… the dreaded “turbulence” announcement rang through the cabin loud and clear. 

I decided to avoid the food they were bringing around for dinner but even still, the combination of the food smells and onset of unsteady movement in the plane was enough to set me off on a path of a VERY-MISERABLE-JOURNEY back home to Thailand. 

After about 5 hours of continuous vomiting, I staggered unsteadily off the first flight, spare sick bags tucked into my pockets. It was as we departed the plane though that the unexpected occurred, our youngest shrieked a panicked cry; he too was feeling sick. We grabbed a spare bag and not losing pace with the rest of the passengers departing the flight, we held it for him as we all kept walking and he lost the contents of his last meal. Poor guy. 

At the airport in-between flights, all I could do was to be still.  I was weak and every part of my body ached.  Finding a spot on the floor, I lay down, exhausted and drifted in and out of a state of dehydrated, distressed sleep. 

Waiting till the last minute, my family gently guided me to the next flight but I already had a terrible feeling that this one was not going to be much different to the last.  But I was wrong… IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE! Not only was I sick for the whole flight but so were TWO of my children!  Poor Dave! He lost count of how many times he had to go and ask for more bags. 

Just when we thought we would be stuck in the air feeling nauseated forever, we finally touched down and stumbled weakly off the plane. Lacking strength and energy we tried to focus on the fact that we were almost home.

Making our way through immigration and baggage, we exited the airport and found a songthaew to take us the twenty-minute or so ride home.  Through the winding streets and familiar city sites, we all stared unemotionally out the back of the truck until we were eventually dropped out the front our house. 

As we unlocked the front gate and started to haul the suitcases to the door one-by-one, there it was…. the final, depressing, reminder of what had been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Our youngest threw up all over the front door step. Yep. We’d made it home!

But, as you know, “turbulence” doesn’t just strike on planes though either.  

This season has definitely seen some turbulent times for our family. Unsteadiness, uncertainty and a bumpy ride have jolted and stretched us in ways that we have not experienced before. 

And there have been days when the words “BE STILL” in the command “Be still and know that I am God” have gripped me in the same way like at the airport that day when I literally had to be still.  

That day, I needed to be ‘physically’ still, to block out all the other noises and movement and activity around me. But sometimes the noises and the distractions around us are people’s comments, the enemy’s lies, or our own insecurities or unmet expectations.  Sometimes the movement and the activities are distractions like a lack of boundaries or over commitment or not letting go.  In the end, it’s all the same.  We must eventually be still.

Being still is a bit like saying, I will not pay attention to the storm going on around me but I will trust in you God.  

Being still cannot be done in front of a computer screen, on our phone or in the crowded places of our lives. 

If we will not be still voluntarily, then sometimes it will take a big shaky dose of turbulence to get our attention and have us crawling into a still, small, quiet place alone to understand and know, “HE is God”.  Not us. 

We are doing a six-week study at church and in our small groups right now called ‘God’s Grand Story’.  After finishing our chapters on Moses and the Israelites, I was telling a friend about my journaling the other day. 

I had written, “I hope that through our family’s wilderness experiences that we really truly learn the lessons that God would have us learn in the desert. That we would not miss the ‘Promised Land’ of what God has for us next and that we would grow in our trust and obedience to Him”.  

I love the lyrics in Lauren Daigle’s song “Trust In You”.  How challenging to think that no matter whether God answers our prayers in the way we want him to or not, that we would fully trust in Him. 

Let’s find time this week to BE STILL in the turbulence.

Trust In You (Lauren Daigle) 

Letting go of every single dream

I lay each one down at Your feet

Every moment of my wandering

Never changes what You see

I try to win this war

I confess, my hands are weary, I need Your rest

Mighty warrior, king of the fight

No matter what I face You're by my side

When You don't move the mountains

I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters

I wish I could walk through

When You don't give the answers

As I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings

There's not a day ahead You have not seen

So let all things be my life and breath

I want what You want Lord and nothing less