A Week of "Goodbyes" and "Hellos"

I posted this quote (author unknown) on my Facebook profile this week “Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will”.

There have been so many mixed feelings this week:

I think that one of the interesting parts of life here in Thailand is going to be getting used to living in a missionary community.  We will continuously have people transitioning in and out of our lives as they come and then go back home.  Just this week we have several families going back to their homes for two-months furlough as well as another one of the beautiful women here, Auntie Joyce (or AJ as she has been fondly named) returning to America indefinitely.   I’ll write more about AJ in a minute (pictured below, teaching a dance class at ZOE Children's Home).

I am feeling excited about our short trip back to Australia and giving away some of these hugs that I’ve saved up.  I will endeavor to make the most of each second I get with my family and friends and then muster up every bit of strength to say  “good bye” again.

Also this week our very special friend Jessica, who has been house-sitting next door, has moved in to her new house.  And whilst I am SO HAPPY for her- she’s found the perfect little house and she is desperate to unpack and settle after being in transit for so long; selfishly I am also feeling quite sad.  I know she is just a drive away but I think I drew a lot of comfort knowing that she was so close.  She has been our rock since we arrived and Dave and I will be forever grateful for all she has done to help our family settle in here.  Thanks Jess, we love you! 

On a more positive note, Greg and Nancy who actually live next door will be returning soon with their two small boys (and play mates).  I am really looking forward to meeting Nancy as I’ve heard so much about her and I know our children will welcome having some more children around to befriend.

Tomorrow is the last day of the year for our children.  They have completed semester 2 and will be saying goodbye and thank you to their teachers.  Both Todd and Cheryl have been so kind and welcoming to our children and we are really appreciative for their assistance in helping to make our kid’s experience of ‘formal education’ so much fun.  Eli’s teacher was just commenting this afternoon that she doesn’t know how she’ll survive without Eli there to organize her! We are looking forward to Tobi and Eli’s end-of-year concert and graduation tomorrow morning!

And now back to why I began writing this blog… for AJ 

(or Joyce-ee, as Dave calls her).

I can't tell you enough what a blessing Joyce-ee has been in our family’s time in Thailand.

We laugh at her clever, witty blog entries and perfectly crafted emails.  We feel inspired by her spirit of adventure and truly amazed by the way she just makes things happen at ZOE.   Without a fuss, she just moves around and puts her little touch here and there; a conversation with one person, a smile at another, some advice and of course her wonderful sense of humor.

We will truly miss having her as part of our lives and as part of our 

ZOE family.

How could we be so impressed by someone we have known for such a small amount of time?  She is wise, graceful, elegant and fun!

We Crossies reckon you’re a beauty!

God Bless you Joyce-ee and SEE YOU SOON!

And, as a side note, once again we feel so blessed and amazed.

You know how we borrowed all Jessica's things when we first got to Thailand?  Well, the day we gave all her things back was, ironically, was the same day that all our freight arrived. 

We still had her DVD player though and a fan so on Saturday we finally gave them back to her as she was moving again- this time in to her new house.  As we gave her DVD player back, Jess handed us another one, which she’d picked up from Joyce’s house for us to ‘mind’. 

Now, as you know, having a DVD player is not a necessity.... BUT, it sure is handy to have one.  Our children especially appreciate it because they do not watch any television here (it’s all in Thai). 

As always, God's timing is perfect and he again engineered things to the exact moment (literally) when there was a need.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

... our life is far from boring!

We got some rain this afternoon.  The past couple of little showers we’d had did nothing but make the house go from furnace to steamy sauna!  But today’s shower actually cooled everything down, which was delightful.  The kids and I danced and ran in the rain until the excitement switched to frog spotting! 

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain”.  ~Author Unknown

After getting completely drenched, we headed upstairs to get changed when Dave suggested we stand out on the balcony and watch the storm from up there.  

As we opened the door we realised that our balcony was actually flooding with water and was almost flowing in to our house!

Dave got to work setting up the pump to drain it over the edge before it all came in ... as I said, NEVER boring!

It’s been a tough week emotionally.  We’ve all shared a lot of tears for various reasons.  The highs and lows leave me wondering if ‘life’  here will ever find a rhythm.  I am reminded of these verses though:

Isaiah 41:10 NIV

So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 40:31 NIV

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Since camp has ended, Dave has been involved in the updating of the staff manual.  He has really enjoyed this opportunity as it has given him a chance to both learn about the existing policies and also contribute to shaping how the ZOE Children's Homes will look in the future.

Eli and I were both feeling a bit flat on Thursday afternoon so Dave kindly encouraged us to go on a date.  We chose to go and explore the Night Safari, they let us local in for $2 and kids are free -what a find!   Only a short drive up the road, we had the most amazing evening and enjoyed a memorable night together which did a lot to lift our spirits.

I have really missed my sister, Mum and close girl friends this week.  It can be challenging to find activities for Spencer to do during the day when the kids are at kinder and the weather is so hot.  I miss having those close relationships that I would be constantly drawing on for strength and encouragement.  I look forward to making a close friend over here in a similar situation to me with a small child at home that I can arrange play-dates with.   I am trusting God to provide in this area.

On a positive note, my friend Jess gave Spencer a dancing DVD this week as she knows how much he just loves to dance and move.  Well not only did he LOVE it but because it goes through various movement elements, stretching, ballet, moving with a scarf etc; Eliana ALSO loved it.  I watched her as she eagerly dressed in her tutu and squeezed in to her old ballet shoes.  Realising that they were far too small for her now, she asked me to buy her some new ones!  I had to explain to her that I had no idea where I would even find ballet slippers in Thailand but that I would have a think about it.

On Saturday we got up early and decided to go to a couple of garage sales.  The first one we went to, I walked in to the crowded room only to be instantly drawn to a box of shoes... as I looked inside, there sat a BRAND NEW pair of pink Jiffies.  I had a look and called Eli over to discover that they were her EXACT SIZE!  And to add one final detail to this story, they were just 20 baht (which is under $1)!!!! Can you believe it?  

It was such a wonderful opportunity to share with her about how much God also cares about the little things in our lives that may seem insignificant to others but that are important to us.  He has provided in a way that only He could’ve orchestrated.   That just blows me away.

So from dancing in the rain to our new dancing DVD, I leave you with these words of encouragement, and what I think my motto for the week will be:

Nobody cares if you can't dance well.  Just get up and dance!  

~Dave Barry

And so I will!

LESSONS FROM THE HIPPOPOTAMUS

Last week, just before the curfew was issued, our family spent the evening walking around the lake at the Chiang Mai Night Safari- you might remember that I’d taken Eliana there for a date night a couple of weeks ago.  

Well it is an amazing place.  It’s only about 5 minutes from our house and free entry for the kids!!  Dave was impressed by what we saw, but one of the highlights of the night was the hippopotamus enclosure.  When I’d been the first time, the hippos were all under the water but this time they were out and about eating their dinner and cruising around.  I find them to be such an extraordinary creature. 

Hippopotamuses love water, which is why the Greeks named them the "river horse." They spend up to 16 hours a day submerged in rivers and lakes to keep their massive bodies cool. 

That’s one lesson we can learn from them.  Submerge body in water to keep cool! The weather here is still extremely hot so 16 hours under water sounds like a good idea to me!

Did you know that a mature hippo normally will hold their breath for an average of 5 minutes, but when forced, or under threat they can hold their breath for as much as 30 minutes? Researchers believe it could be longer, but they have no proof! Wow!

When we start to feel overwhelmed with life, threatened or pushed beyond our human limitations, wouldn’t it be nice if we could follow the hippopotamuses and just submerge ourselves under water and hide for a while until the threat has passed or until we gain our composure? 

Well, of course we can’t do that but there is something that I find particularly refreshing and achieves the same result.  For those of you who are also Christians, you’ll already know what I am talking about but for other people, who may never have tried this, I highly recommend it!

I’m talking about reading the bible. This may sound strange to some of you but STAY WITH ME!  The bible is FULL of promises.  And these promises include faith, hope and love.  

Just like a bridge helps us to get from one side to the other, so too these promises help transport us from despair to hope.

  

So instead of submerging yourself underwater for 30 minutes, (I do not recommend this!!!!) go and read some of those promises for yourself.  I’m telling you, they’ll show you a new way to respond to life’s challenges and heartaches.

Be encouraged and strengthened as you discover what God’s promised you.  You can cling to the fact that He keeps his word.   

Hebrews 10:23-24 (If you don’t own a bible, just Google it!)

So, what else has been happening in our world?

• David has been working on the children’s home schedules, driver’s schedules, staff manual and child protection policy documents for the past couple of weeks. 
• He has been the trainer at the recent house parent staff training afternoons, and is getting a lot of experience speaking at the staff and childcare meetings.
• Tobi and Eli are preparing for their end-of-year concert.  We’re eagerly awaiting this special morning next Thursday at the school’s main campus.
• Spencer and I have been trying to tidy and pack for a very quick visit back to Australia in June.  For an update on where we’ll be speaking see the “Contact” page on this blog.   
• I was asked to read a couple of stories in Eli’s class this morning which was a delight.  I choose ‘Koala Lou’ and ‘You’re All My Favourites’.  The class sat wide-eyed and it was a lovely to share this moment with them.  They all ran up and said thank you after I’d finished- so cute.

Have a great week :)

WELL, WELL, WELL

This is a photo of Jessica and I looking down a newly built well at a Compassion project in a village 4 hours north of Chiang Mai.

I had the pleasure of visiting some very beautiful, traditional Thai villages yesterday.  Jessica and I, along with four of the Thai staff, took the winding, daylong journey up in to the hills with an assignment to accomplish!

In July this year, ZOE Children's Home is hosting several short-term missions teams one after another.  Every year teams are booked to come however, this time; most of the other full-time missionary staff  who usually do the hosting, will be home in America on furlough for 2 months.  There is only a small team remaining and it will be all hands on deck! Yes even Spencer will be expected to pull his weight!!

Yesterday’s trip up to the mountains was to look around for suitable locations for the teams to visit and stay as well as make contact with the relevant people needed to co-ordinate each of these three-day events.  

It was particularly interesting visiting two Compassion projects from the point of view that our family has a Compassion sponsor child who also attends a similar project here in Thailand.  This was not her location, but we would like to visit her some time this year.

What I enjoyed most about the day, besides getting to spend time with the phenomenal ZOE staff, was just experiencing more of the ‘Thai’ way of accomplishing a task.  Despite there being a lot to do in the day, it was just sorelaxed.  At every place we stopped (unannounced) we were welcomed with open arms and warm hospitality.  The Thai’s are not just all smiles but their gentle ways and calm composure make them such a beautiful community of people.  It was a privilege to be included on this trip and to have this experience.  It was definitely one I will never forget.  

Camp Update and MORE!

You may be wondering why on earth Dave would be dressed like this…  or more precisely, is that Eli’s tutu on his head? 

You could be forgiven for thinking that he’d been missing the AFL so much that he’d donned on his Bombers jumper, but that made him too hot so he was on his way to the pool with his goggles but had mistakenly put on my pajama pants!  But, what excuse could there be for wearing Eli’s tutu on his head?

Well, I won’t keep you guessing any longer.  He was actually on his way out to the final night of camp, a “crazy dress-up” party when I took that photo.

To their credit, Jessica and Dave have finished strong.  They put together a mammoth 4 week long camp program in a very short amount of time.  It was well planned, outstanding, creative, energetic and unforgettable.  This camp was the last one to be run from the current children’s home because next time camp is on, we’ll be using the new buildings and new home out in Doi Saket!  Yay!           (See video at the bottom of this page)

I went out to the land on Thursday to look at a couple of the dormitories that had been “mocked up” with some paint colors I’d help select and also to make some suggestions about another few areas.  

I have a mixture of feelings when I put on my “design team” hat.  In one way, it is quite daunting but I also find it mildly funny!   Instead of continually giving disclaimers about my lack of qualifications in this department though, I am learning to simply embrace this opportunity and do the best that I can do.  I believe that God does not give us more than we can handle and I am definitely relying on Him to help me do this task to the best of the abilities and ‘eye for color’ that He’s given me.  I will be returning to the site this week to look at some more of the progress, which I am looking forward to.

I’ve had an eventful week.  From Tobi and Eli’s student-led conferences at kindergarten… to getting our work permits approved 

… to helping organize and lead one of this week’s elective classes for camp… to spending an afternoon out of the new ZOE buildings deciding on colours … to having Dave out for four of the five week nights… as well as looking at page after page of rental properties…. 

It’s been a whirlwind of activity but all the fun has left me feeling exhausted!  

Spencer enjoyed being out at ZOE every day (except Wednesday. It was a public holiday and I had a great day at home with all 3 kids).  I love that we get to work at a children’s home and that our children are just as much a part of it as we are.  Spencer was able to join in the elective that Jess and I ran on ‘imaginary play’.  It was so beautiful to see how all the children, so quickly, adjusted to each new setting and were able to have opportunities to just “pretend”.  We set up a shop, hairdressers, building equipment with tools/safety wear etc, hospital and home-kitchen and restaurant.  It was fun and so cute watching all the children dressing up and taking on their new ‘roles’.

It’s Mother’s Day today and whilst I missed seeing my mum in the flesh, I was grateful for our telephone conversation.  It was lovely to hear her voice and find out that she’d spent the day with both my brother and sister.  This made me so happy.  I am also overwhelmed with thankfulness for the opportunity to be a mum to my own three children.  They are so precious to me and it is an awesome responsibility and honor to be their mother.  I loved that I got pancakes for breakfast and cappuccino ice cream after church to celebrate.  

I also got wander around the shopping centre for a few hours, which I found very relaxing and interesting (it always amazes me how many different ‘things’ there are to see here).

We did a little bit more research into housing yesterday and went for a drive around the area on the other side of the main roadway, closer to the kindergarten.  I think we’d ideally like to move over to that side (following some of the other missionary families who are moving over) so we’ll be doing more intentional searching and praying for a bargain house to come up soon so that we can plan for when our lease is up at the end of July.

Tobi has just discovered “Where’s Wally” and is really quite quick at finding Wally amongst the busyness of the page.

Tobi has just discovered “Where’s Wally” and is really quite quick at finding Wally amongst the busyness of the page.

Sometimes over here it’s easy to feel a bit like Wally; lost on the page amongst all the multitude of things happening and the millions of people ‘doing life’ but speaking a different language.   I feel like a little tiny spec on the page and often wonder how could I possibly ever make a difference here.  

But I do believe that no matter how busy it gets or how much of a language barrier there is, that if we continue to do what we set out to do (helping these beautiful children to become all they were meant to be) then we are helping to raise the next generation of Thai leaders to impact their country and, therefore, we ARE making a difference.

The Honest Truth? ... okay here it is!

After reading my last blog entry, Dave commented that I was making our life sound too glamorous!  

On our blog I like to try to share a percentage of the ‘highs’ as well as the ‘lows’ but maybe not all the lows make it to be published.

Why?  Well, as much as I want our blog to reflect the “real” us, I also want it to be relatively ‘uplifting’ as well.  I don’t imagine people will want to read it if they come away feeling depressed afterwards.  

Anyone with children understands the daily challenges that are faced with sibling rivalry, tiredness, homework, behavioral issues and the general busyness of life.  These challenges still exist for us, obviously, but we feel like they are somewhat magnified by the added implications of being away from our support network, missing our families tremendously, facing cultural and language differences daily, adapting to the constraints of what we can/can’t buy at the shops (food wise), coping with the extreme heat each day… I won’t go on- you get the idea!

Last night after all three children had literally all had “melt downs” both in mind and body; Dave asked whether I’d like to go and adjust my blog!!  The hot days are definitely taking a toll- even the daily routine of getting ready can leave us dripping with sweat and worn out.

Dave often goes through two to three shirts a day!

This morning I mentioned to Eliana that I’d had an email from my friend Marnie (from my mother’s group) who has a daughter Tessa, Tobi’s age, and who Tobi went to kinder with last year.  Eli and Tessa did tap and ballet together last year and I was telling her some things that Marnie had written.

Tobi was listening in and began to express how he missed all his old kinder friends and wanted to go back and visit them.  I said that maybe one day we could go back and see our family and friends but that afterwards we would be coming back to Thailand, as this was our new home.  

Tobi and Eli both began crying and explaining how much they missed everyone.  Tobi even told me that I could just send him back to Australia to live with one of his friends!  They said everything from how they didn’t just want to visit Australia but they wanted to go back for a VERY long time, to suggesting living with their grandparents, to how they hadn’t gotten to say goodbye properly and many other things!  Talk about breaking my heart!!!

Fighting back tears, I calmly explained to them that I knew it was difficult for them.  It was Mummy and Daddy’s decision to move so far away and that we missed everyone too but that we moved here so that we could help the children at ZOE and that this was Daddy’s new work now.  I also talked about how, even though I missed everyone back home, I also felt glad to have met all the people that work at ZOE and how I have lots of new friends now as well.  We have our most treasured friends and family in Australia and our new friends here in Thailand.  

It feels like every single time we get a glimpse of settling in, we’re hit with the harsh reality that despite our children’s love for life and ability to embrace their surroundings, there’s still two little hearts that are desperately missing a life they used to have.  

So where to from here?

We’ll continue to pray for God’s wisdom and strength in our parenting.  

We knew we weren’t choosing an easy life when we moved here. We never set out to just cruise through.  We want to give and we want to make a difference and we want to change the course of history… however big or small that ends up being, we will at least try.

Our children are so precious to us and whilst we know there are aspects of living here that they love, it was not their choice- it was ours.  Please pray for them that they are able to trust the decision we’ve made for our family.  

Dave and I need so much understanding and patience when trying to be sensitive to their feelings and we have to realise that is normal for them to feel these emotions after moving to a new country.  With changes like these, where we have to leave people behind that we love, it is natural to feel a sense of loss and grievance. Hopefully if we can continue to recognise these feelings for what they are, cope with them and allow the children just “to be” then one day we may be able to truthfully report, that we’ve finally “arrived” … or not!!!

Andie

PS I hope you’re not going to leave this blog feeling depressed… it was not my intention… I’ll write something more uplifting next time, I promise!!

  

Warmer, Warmer, Hotter, Hotter... BOILING!

ZOE camp. Below: some of the boys

and their leaders.  Above: Some of 

the wonderful team of leaders.

Did you ever play that game as a kid where you hid something and then gave clues to the person looking for it by describing their attempts as “cold” if they were no where near the object and then “hot” for when they were getting closer?

Here in Chiang Mai, the weather has gone from warm to hot to boiling rather quickly and just to add another level to this, yesterday I think I experienced a “rapid boil” when our the electricity went out and there was no cooling or fans in the house for a couple of hours!

We knew it would get really hot when the winter temperatures in January were a consistent 30 degrees everyday!!  But nothing could prepare us for the relentless weeks of high thirties to forty-degree days that we’ve had.  Even the lowest temperatures over night are still in the mid twenties!  

I wouldn’t say that I’m normally a sweaty person, but earlier in the week, after finishing some ironing and mopping the floors, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror only to confirm what I already knew…  I was absolutely dripping with SWEAT!!  Ahhhh it’s just crazy at the moment.

Good news though, we did have a little shower of rain on Monday and yesterday.  And you have to understand; there was no running or hiding when it rains here.  It felt so good that we all frolicked and laughed and thanked God for the wonderful relief.  It was short-lived but a little sign of what’s to come as we enter in to the wetter season (mid year).

I am consistently amazed at how much the children keep growing-up and changing.  They are absorbing so much from, not just, our ‘home’ culture but also their school, the Thai culture and the small community of American missionaries that we frequently hang around with.  It’s so funny when you see all these different influences in their lives shaping them in to who they are.

Even their interest in speaking Thai and using it in daily contexts blows me away.  Their lives here are certainly different now to what they were even just 6 months ago!

I was just commenting to Dave about how quickly Tobi is growing up.  He is infatuated by paper planes at the moment and spends considerable time making them, adjusting them, testing them and then readjusting them.  Him and Dave are always trying to improve the flight of the planes by adding a bit of sticky tape here or there as well as maybe a couple of staples etc.  He’s made some absolute beauties and it’s all good- until one comes and swoops you when you least expect it!!  He is also becoming increasingly interested in writing and spelling.  He is continuously asking us to spell out words for him as well as read what a word says.  He loves talking about what ‘this’ or ‘that’ starts with and is very serious about his drawing and coloring in too. 

He loves being outdoors as well, especially helping with the gardening and watering.  He will quite often go and move the sprinkler to a different spot by himself and is always up for a sporting challenge.  Dave enjoys playing baseball or soccer with the kids in the backyard.  Yesterday I bought us a set of 5 badminton rackets and 6 shuttlecocks (all for $3.30 mind you) and Tobi instantly wanted us to explain what to do.  We had to show him over and over until he managed to be able to master the skill himself.  This morning all he could think about was, “playing that tennis game again” after kinder!

Well one thing about Eliana is that she still has a LOT of words to speak.  We are training her to let the boys have a turn talking occasionally but now with both English and Thai- there’s double the amount of words for her to get out!!  Eli loves being outdoors too and enjoys running through the sprinklers and playing hide and seek.  Inside she fusses over her dolls, dressing and redressing them and is often heard explaining something to them in either language!  Her and Tobi play so well together and they are getting really good at including Spencer in some way into their games.  It’s lovely when it all just “works” and the three of them are seen nattering away to each other and getting along.

Spencer has definitely reached that stage of either being completely delightful or having the biggest tantrums that Thailand has ever seen.  But when he’s not throwing a fit, Spencer is hysterically funny.  He has the craziest dance moves I’ve ever seen.  He’s pretty good at saying ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ -both of these he needs to use regularly so that’s handy!  He is in to everything and climbs on everything and jumps on everyone… yes he is an active one and just when I feel like a tornado has ripped through the house he comes and gives me the longest, yummiest cuddle and it is all totally worth it!  Gotta love toddlers!

Dave and I are good.  While the children and ZOE keep us relatively occupied, we enjoy catching a few minutes where possible to sit and have a coffee and just download.  We will go back to more ‘normal’ hours once the ZOE camp is over, at the end of next week.  At the moment the hours are different and this morning it was apparent that the kid’s have missed seeing Dave at their bedtime, the last few nights.  Today though is an excursion day so Dave will be home tonight and we may be able to spend some family time together before and after dinner.

I am going in to ZOE tomorrow to help finalize colors for the dormitory bedrooms.  I still think it’s hysterical that I found myself with this role but it is certainly stretching me to experience something different to what I normally would and I enjoy the process and collaborating with Rob, who is in charge of the new building project.

I went house hunting on Saturday. Jess agreed to come with me and her Thai was invaluable.  Only once did she lapse and tell someone that “we love rental properties!!” Too funny!   After a whole day though, I don’t feel much closer to having decided whereabouts to live when our lease is up but at least the process has started.  To be honest, it was fun just to have a day out and get to hang around Jess as well as enjoy a longer lunch than the usual rushed, peanut butter sandwich.

On Sunday we scouted out a waterfall to see if it would be suitable to take the ZOE kids to for their excursion.  It was a beautiful spot and one that we’ll definitely go back to again as a family.  It was perfect for swimming or just paddling in the rock pools.  (See photos to the side)

Well, from me to you I say thank you again for reading our blog, staying up to date with our lives and for your support.  We love you lots and miss you heaps but we know that this is where we are meant to be.

“There is no greater joy than bringing hope to children and no greater responsibility than protecting the innocent” Sandra Denenga.